Monday, January 22, 2007
If only I knew...
I would be there for you...
I would not do the things I do...now..
I would be there for you...I'm sure..
But,I didn't know anything bout your heart...
Till that day, when you stand up for me like u never did before..
All this while...after the breakup..I never see the love from you...
In my eyes,I knew you had stopped loving me...
Didn't know if the love I had for you was appreciated...
I didn't know it, till that particular day...
All the while...
I feel abused...
I feel used...
I'm bruised...
My heart's crushed when you said that you not taking me back in your heart..it's locked..
The phobia you had...
I give up...
Walking with my head down low...
When I think of you,I was reminded of the pain I put you through...
Nothing could ever describe the regrets I had...
That's why,I called you..I want to make things right again...
But no chance were given and...I have to force myself to be strong...walking with my head low again..
The love still there lingering in this heart of mine...
And thats the reason why I never leave...completely...
The past....the memories of us...the tears we shed and the laughter we had...
All you ever think of me...
That I could never change...
You think all I do is to get mad at you...
You never know me and the feelings inside me...
You think all I do is breaking your heart..
You think all I do is to hurt you..to stab you with my words..
You thought wrong..I'm a woman with this FUCKING temper..that I try to dump..with huge attempt..till now..I needed time for that...
But,when you told me that you are not using me...
I didn't trust you,cos you never show it till that DAY...
All along,I take everything in from what I see...
And..all of a sudden your love came tumbling down for me...gushing like the blood thru thy veins..
When...
When I have someone new...
When I decides to leave and moved on...
When I decides to put a fullstop to this hurting pride...
When I decides to erase the question marks I always had in mind doubting your love...
Why must it be after I met him?
Why can't it be earlier?
Why can't you show me the love you had before he did?
Why didn't you think of all consequences of losing me?
You know it...I'm just a human who needs loving...
I'm the girl who needs someone to grab my face and tell me that he loves me..
I'm the girl who needs someone to show me that he loves me for me and not for his satisfaction...
I'm the girl who needs to be pampered like how you used to do me...
I'm the girl who needs someone to tell her whats is in his mind,heart and his soul...
Why must you shower me with your love now and not then?
Why now baby?
Why?
U think I was strong..I could erase you that easy...
U are damn wrong..cos I never show you..my weakness point...
U will never see me cry...U will never see me fall apart...
Right at this moment...when I'm updating this blog here...
I began to see it clearer...
EVERYTHING WAY MUCH CLEARER NOW...
That we are not meant to be together...
And we never can hold each others hand tighter..
Leading one another...
To the path where we can be together..
Like cupids and lover..
I'm not mad at you..
I don't hold grudge with you...
I'm not dissing you...
I'm not blaming you either...
I just wish I could turn back the hands of time...slapped you in your face to make you realise...
That you need me in your life..make u realise..see everything and take me back in your arms...
Right now...I miss you...
How I wish..
You are strong..like what u said...
If you want it,you will get it...
Snatch me from whoever might blocked your way...
But..I think you don't bother..
To try harder...
For this someone whom you called your LOVER...
~Farah~
get
lost. [1/22/2007 09:34:00 AM]
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*Farah
*12th November 1983
*The West
*Mailing Address:ayus_phreak@yahoo.com
*MSN:ayus_phreak@hotmail.com
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Whatever you wanna say.
This is my blog.
I am feeling happy.
Nothing & Nobody cld change me in being SOMEONE that's just ain't me
Say what u wanna say..I am beautiful in every single way....
The words I heard u saying to folks around me...
U least expect the REAL me..
Maybe It's TIME I'll let u see for urself
Wat life is all about..
Not bother me,I'll let you EAT your own cake,
BUT if you DO,I'll let u EAT your own SHIT!Haha..
They tink im a bitch
They tink im a whore
They tink im so cheap
Dun judge in wat I wore
All those lost soul out there..realise in urself before u try seekin otha's NEGATIVITY
Ur words..ABSOLUTE NOTHING..can move me into SOMEONE else but ME
This is how I live my life,by just being MYSELF
**THE CONTENT THAT FOLLOWS MEANT FOR MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY. IF YOU ARE WEAK KNEED, FAINT HEARTED, LINK TO AL-QAEDA, SWIM IN MUD, WATCH AMERICAN IDOL OR ARE SUBJECT TO PARENTAL STRONG ARMING PLEASE CLICK EXIT FOR BEING A PUSSY. **
(Thnx 4 Viewing.Pls Press Exit 2 Get Ur Ass Out Of My Page.)
Farah 12.11.1983
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